A Walk Along The Beach Cut Short

Slept in this morning.  Woke up at 6 instead of my normal 5.  The Bug was already up and making breakfast. It was the coffee smell that woke me, I just know it.  Because I knew I didn’t set mine for automatic brew last night.  (The Bug is The Nephew, by the way)  He was so rip-roaring, ready to go this morning that I’d not even had but one sip of coffee before he was asking if I’d like to go to the beach. Said sure before I really even knew how I was going to feel, but ya know, ya just gotta get up go sometimes and not worry all the time about how you’re going to feel.  Just roll with it, and that’s exactly what I did.

Once Sis was awake and had her half a cup of coffee, we set out for the shoreline. Sunrise over St. Augustine!  Nothing gets much better than this right here ….

But, I missed it!  Yes, this is not my photo but rather my Sister’s.  I was too busy in the bathroom to watch the sunrise.  Yes … stuck on the throne.  Of all the places I could have been at this very moment …. the john was not the ideal place.  I fear the colitis is back and with a vengeance this time.  So, Tuesday … I’m not messing about with the Primary this time.  Nope!  Going straight to the G.I. specialist.

While The Bug and Sis were beach combing and catching glimpses of sharks feeding this morning, I was in the car so I could stay close to the bathroom.  This was my view…

So much anymore makes me tired.  Life makes me tired.  Dealing with BS makes me tired.  But for now, this is my list of:

I’m so tired of …

  • Not ever catching a break.
  • Forever having something else wrong.
  • Hurting.
  • Dealing with people’s lack of understanding.
  • People thinking I’m a hypochondriac.
  • Loved ones believing I’m manifesting illnesses upon myself.
  • Confidence being betrayed by the one person I thought I could count on.
  • Knowing I can’t really trust anyone.
  • Paranoia
  • The worst – Finding out the paranoia is REAL!
  • Wanting to be alone.
  • Being afraid to trust anyone.
  • Wearing a mask to make others happy.
  • Stuffing my feelings because they may hurt others feelings.
  • Feeling too much.
  • Not being heard.
  • Not being able to “let it go”!
  • Most of all … being insignificant.

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I attempt to be an optimistic person but, it’s just not in me.  Am a realists through and through.  Have been having such a hard time lately, with way too much to go into detail with.  Simply ache from being so tired.  I will mull over this a bit more.  For now, I bid you all a super Labor Day weekend.  Be safe!

 

 

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